$232.00 to show up at the house
$90/hour after the first 10 minutes. $30/hour to pull anything off the truck, $55 surcharge for using my ink out of my pen, paper, some scratch paper when I do basic math.
Then I charge $13.00 for fuel surcharge for within a 10 mile radius, $18.84 for anything outside a 10 mile radius, plus $3 for tire wear, tire inflation.
I charge $10 for foot booties, $13 for one pair of rubber gloves and IF those gloves break in the first 15 minutes of work, I implement a $10 user fee with a $5 restocking fee to get another pair of gloves off the truck.
Plastic bags on the job? $8.22
Paper Towels? $1.34 per 1' by 1' squares
Handy wipes are $4.32 per use and .40 to walk to the truck to get them.
I also charge per step when I arrive at the home; meaning that anything above a flat surface will cost the customer additional for future knee ligamament wear, conditional rehabilition fees and travel time to and from said rehab center.
Furthermore, I charge in 10' increments from the truck to the front door. Any step curbs are .84 cents each time I walk across them during the time spent at the job location, any large cracks in the driveway are .20 cents for any time I have to purposely walk around to avoid injury.
Parking in the driveway and forced to move because some mother F*(*(NG idiot didn't think that when you call the plumber and then decide that you need to get out. That's $37.50 per car, per movement out of the driveway.
Random dogs coming up to me during first visit whether it's your damn dog or not? $28.30 and sniffing my groin is automatic $6.83 added to the usage fees attained by hardship clause on any job less than $283 and further than 13.4 miles from shop. No exceptions to this even though I might be close by or "right down the street" from job.
Being offered a drink that's not of my liking...$3.88 and if the second offer is worse than the first, $17.32 plus tax.
Talking on the phone giving an ear estimate is based on physical appearance of customer upon arrival. The charts are as follows:
Attractive: $1.49
Mildly Attractive: $2.48
Plain: $9.32
Unattractive: $18.29
Fugly: $24.32 and that includes any customer with bad breath or unsightly facial hair, male or female
Pubic hairs found on tools are .34 cents per hair, extremely curly hair will constitute as A 4 hair minimum penalty phase. Any hairs left in site on the toilet sanitary bar, shower drain or near toilet area are considered obtrusive and $10.97 fee for being a dumb*** thinking I want to see it.
And if I don't want to write all this out, I start all over and tack .21 cents to all the figures and do a multiplier of .2819 to come up with a summarization fee. I continue from there.