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Here is a funny and true story that might make you guys laugh or hate me, who knows but I like to write :)

For many years I did track housing , you know one house after another, by the time you get to the third you know every pipe size , etc .

So I am sure if you have ever done new construction you know that there is not many places to take a crap if you need to, and sometimes that dam pepperoni pizza on that coffee truck just looks so good on a cold winter day.

So I am on this finish and actually doing the baseboard that day, as well as installing the boiler with two of the guys, and they are working in the basement and I am working on the first floor of this two story home.

This is now a few hours later from when I had that (now stomach burning) awesome pepperoni pizza and I decide ok , yea I will just do the norm in this industry and grab an empty spackle bucket, a piece of pipe insulation for the rim of the bucket for comfort and go take a nice walk to that upstairs master bedroom closet where there is no heat loops or anyone will be working .....

Well.... what do you know, as I am sitting there doing my business I hear the sound of "high heels" clanking on the bare plywood that has not had a floor covering applied to it.

As I am sitting there, I start hearing the foot steps get closer, and I now have confirmed that not only do I hear one set of high heels, but now I hear two sets and there is two people on there way toward this master bedroom.

Before you know it, and what seems like seconds I hear " AND this is the master bedroom closet"

NOW - Yes. I was thinking exactly what you just [email protected]@@@!!!

The door swings open , I am sitting with my draws dropped on this bucket with no water , and these two ladies( Real Estate Agent & Buyer ) had a look of horror on their face like I have never seen before.

When I was finished and came downstairs, the guys in the basement were like "dude, what did you do, those ladies just ran downstairs and left like lighting"

End Result:

This GC had portable toilets on every jobs site after that :)

True story, It is funny now , was scary then

I was around 22 when this happened :)
 

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I loke the pipe insulation on the bucket never thought of that... Now i wont have that ring around my ass next time. And they say you learn something new everyday... But because im a one man crew.. i have a helper when i need one, I have a roll of paper garbage bags a bucket and wipes in my van at all times.. Oh yeah a nice spray freshener... But ill remember the insulation now Not fiberglass,,,
 

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We used to have a problem with "immigracionne" in new construction years ago and they would take the furnace fronts off and lay it over two buckets and cook beans over a fire.


They would also use the tubs as toilets, don't dare EVER pull those traps off to glue them without first checking to see if there was urine in them. Got nailed once.


So what the HVAC guy would do to get back at these guys for taking the covers, he'd use a large sheet of metal and cover the front of the furnace, the workers knew if they were caught, they don't get paid for the drywall work.


They'd live in the house, from house to house while they hung/taped and finished and they'd spend the night because the builders had the furnaces on.


Soooo, somebody came up with the idea of crapping in a bucket and hiding it inside the furnace, no way to get to it, no way of knowing what was going on.

I'm telling you right now, the smell was atrocious and these guys due to the fact they needed the money so bad, would work with the furnace blowing this aging smell throughout the entire house, and the looks on their face was priceless! :laughing::laughing: They asked tons of questions why it was happening, all the builder would say is that there was a problem with people using the tubs as toilets and "they haven't figured out where the smell is coming from."


:thumbsup: PAYBACK BABY
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I loke the pipe insulation on the bucket never thought of that...,
Thanks , yea when my foreman showed me that years and years ago , I was impressed as well :)

They would also use the tubs as toilets, don't dare EVER pull those traps off to glue them without first checking to see if there was urine in them. Got nailed once.

:thumbsup: PAYBACK BABY
When I used to do track housing in Flushing Queens , we would get that all the time as well, people always were crapping in dry toilets , tubs, you know
 

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i can relate i know that smell your talking about.. I remember we were in a house same scenario and i was a helper at the time. My mech needed a 2x4 and there was a stack of them in a dark closet.. as he was pulling them out i was just cleaning some fittings.. I heard a shriek ,,, someone **** on the wood then covered them with a couple clean ones ,, he was pissed..lol its funny now but,, it was all over his hands and arms... lol i miss that guy he was a great partner..
 

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Thanks , yea when my foreman showed me that years and years ago , I was impressed as well :)



When I used to do track housing in Flushing Queens , we would get that all the time as well, people always were crapping in dry toilets , tubs, you know
yeah i know exactly what your talking about ... still... how long have you been out of the city.. Who did you work for down here
 

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Discussion Starter #12
i can relate i know that smell your talking about.. I remember we were in a house same scenario and i was a helper at the time. My mech needed a 2x4 and there was a stack of them in a dark closet.. as he was pulling them out i was just cleaning some fittings.. I heard a shriek ,,, someone **** on the wood then covered them with a couple clean ones ,, he was pissed..lol its funny now but,, it was all over his hands and arms... lol i miss that guy he was a great partner..

ughhhh yea, that's ;ike when we used to rough the basements,

My old boss would like to rough the basement when it was still dirt, so when you moved the ladder around you would start turning up the dirt and it was full of crap from the framers ****ting in it all the time when they were framing the house.....
 

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I crapped in a occupied townhouse. It was a spec and fully trimmed out. We had been crapping in it for a couple of months. Anyway, the garage was open, I walked in, the powder room was right off the entrance. I drop trou and squat, as I am doing so, stuff starts registering, the towels on the bar, the soap and soap dish on the vanity, all these things add up and the threat detector starts screaming in my head like when Maverick's wing man got missile locked by the MIG's in Top Gun. I am trying to wipe quickly, and wouldn't you know it, it's a messy one, I hear footsteps above me and start wiping in earnest. I flush and bolt out, casting a backward glance and seeing boxes all over the living room and dishes in the sink, I hear a female voice call out, "honey?" I shut the door silently, and book thru the garage, and turn left, hugging the front of the 6 unit townhouse and slither down and sneak thru the forest preserve next to the development and duck into the unit we were roughing. Of course I told my foreman what happened and I became known as "the phantom crapper":eek:
 

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nothing worse than working on an offgrade crawling around and you set your knee or hand in human feces. I would rather smell cat crap than that. I was about to connect a lavatory in a new home one day and when I opened the cabinet door there was a 5 gallon bucket hidden in it full of fermented crap. I gagged for ten minutes. I had to go back that next day to find my lowerer "parts" that I puked.
 

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my story isnt as good as these.. but it just happened to me last week.. I get a call from a contractor that subs me out. Im supposed to meet him at 7:30 am to look at a job he has for me.
I check mapquest on the address .. an actual pic of the house comes up.. no landscaping in the front , no stairs to the front door . looks like an unoccupied renovation.. I get to the front door no way in I call the G C tells me just come in through the side door everyone is in the kitchen.. Well I walk in expecting the house to be empty. Instead I walk up the stairs. coffee is brewin Black Lab looks up from his bed with tail wagging.. but no one I know . im standing in someones kitchen at 7:30 in the morning. Next thing i hear is a footsteps a woman in just her t shirt with a laundry basket comes from the basement .. To get to the point im in the wrong house. I asked her is this 53 Sheridan,, she looks and points its the house next door.. I never felt like such a jerk in all my life.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
WHO new a crappy post would get so many responses.....Ok Ok I know that was dorky but I had to say it
 

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I crapped in a occupied townhouse. It was a spec and fully trimmed out. We had been crapping in it for a couple of months. Anyway, the garage was open, I walked in, the powder room was right off the entrance. I drop trou and squat, as I am doing so, stuff starts registering, the towels on the bar, the soap and soap dish on the vanity, all these things add up and the threat detector starts screaming in my head like when Maverick's wing man got missile locked by the MIG's in Top Gun. I am trying to wipe quickly, and wouldn't you know it, it's a messy one, I hear footsteps above me and start wiping in earnest. I flush and bolt out, casting a backward glance and seeing boxes all over the living room and dishes in the sink, I hear a female voice call out, "honey?" I shut the door silently, and book thru the garage, and turn left, hugging the front of the 6 unit townhouse and slither down and sneak thru the forest preserve next to the development and duck into the unit we were roughing. Of course I told my foreman what happened and I became known as "the phantom crapper":eek:

Damn!

nothing worse than working on an offgrade crawling around and you set your knee or hand in human feces. I would rather smell cat crap than that. I was about to connect a lavatory in a new home one day and when I opened the cabinet door there was a 5 gallon bucket hidden in it full of fermented crap. I gagged for ten minutes. I had to go back that next day to find my lowerer "parts" that I puked.

DAMN!

my story isnt as good as these.. but it just happened to me last week.. I get a call from a contractor that subs me out. Im supposed to meet him at 7:30 am to look at a job he has for me.
I check mapquest on the address .. an actual pic of the house comes up.. no landscaping in the front , no stairs to the front door . looks like an unoccupied renovation.. I get to the front door no way in I call the G C tells me just come in through the side door everyone is in the kitchen.. Well I walk in expecting the house to be empty. Instead I walk up the stairs. coffee is brewin Black Lab looks up from his bed with tail wagging.. but no one I know . im standing in someones kitchen at 7:30 in the morning. Next thing i hear is a footsteps a woman in just her t shirt with a laundry basket comes from the basement .. To get to the point im in the wrong house. I asked her is this 53 Sheridan,, she looks and points its the house next door.. I never felt like such a jerk in all my life.
HOLY DAMN! That happened to me before.....just didn't get past the living room though and it was a renter, all freaked out.

Also had another one where I was sitting in a driveway and it was the wrong one, homeowner comes home and freaks out completely, accusing me of going inside her house.......WHAT???!!!

Anyway, it was the customer who gave me the wrong addy and that woman probably called the news station. She was whacked way before I parked in her driveway, that's for sure.
 
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