Things I Wish I Could Say...but Don't - Plumbing Zone

Titan · 11-19-2008, 04:41 PM

Things I wish I could say (WIWICS) when people call, and what I really say (WIRS):

Caller: Do you replace hot water heaters?
WIWICS: No maam. Why would you want to heat hot water? It's already hot. We install cold water heaters.
WIRS: Yes maam! Would you like to book a call?

Caller: Can you suggest a good soft water conditioner?
WIWICS: What would you like us to condition your soft water to? Do you want us to make it hard again?
WIRS: Yes sir! Would you like to book a call?

Caller: It was awful cold last night. Can you come unthaw my pipes?
WIWICS: Let me get this straight. You want us to unthaw your pipes. Would you like us to unfreeze them when we get done?
WIRS: You bet we do! Would you like to book a call?

Caller: Don't be alarmed. The warranty on your vehicle is about to expire.
WIWICS: Leave me alone.
WIRS: Leave me alone.

service guy · 11-19-2008, 04:59 PM

Caller:"How much do you charge for a water heater."
WIWICS: "I am like a high-end call-girl, if you have to ask how much I charge, then you obviously can't afford me."

WIRS: "It depends on the specific water heater and the specific installation job. I can come out to your home, assess the job and give you an exact price, a house call is only $xx, when would you like to set up and appointment?"

Caller: "I don't want to pay for an estimate, can you give me a ballpark? I was at Lowe's and the water heaters were only $xx."
WIWICS: "Go ahead, hire BLowe's and have some unlicensed crack-head install your water-heater all screwed up and don't cry to me when it leaks carbon monoxide and kills your whole family. I don't give a damn."
WIRS: "I'm sorry, but we have a small service fee for an in-house estimate and there is no other way for us to accurately price the job."

Wethead · 11-25-2008, 08:21 PM

Its true though some of these contractors are going to kill someone someday

para1 · 11-25-2008, 08:32 PM

You Paid How Much For That Faucet???

Killertoiletspider · 11-25-2008, 08:39 PM

Caller: "I don't want to pay for an estimate, can you give me a ballpark? I was at Lowe's and the water heaters were only $xx."
WIWICS New Comiskey Park was 72 million so far, it should be less than that.
WIRS New Comiskey Park was 72 million so far, it should be less than that.

para1 · 11-25-2008, 08:53 PM

CALLER "I just need a ballpark".

ME "That what Jerry Jones said, If we can schedule this call I will be able to buy my season tickets this week".

11-19-2008, 04:41 PM	#1
Titan Titan Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Southwestern Michigan Posts: 33 My Photos	Things I Wish I Could Say...but Don't Things I wish I could say (WIWICS) when people call, and what I really say (WIRS): Caller: Do you replace hot water heaters? WIWICS: No maam. Why would you want to heat hot water? It's already hot. We install cold water heaters. WIRS: Yes maam! Would you like to book a call? Caller: Can you suggest a good soft water conditioner? WIWICS: What would you like us to condition your soft water to? Do you want us to make it hard again? WIRS: Yes sir! Would you like to book a call? Caller: It was awful cold last night. Can you come unthaw my pipes? WIWICS: Let me get this straight. You want us to unthaw your pipes. Would you like us to unfreeze them when we get done? WIRS: You bet we do! Would you like to book a call? Caller: Don't be alarmed. The warranty on your vehicle is about to expire. WIWICS: Leave me alone. WIRS: Leave me alone. __________________ Striving for the Health, Safety, Welfare, and Convenience of Each Valued Customer

11-19-2008, 04:59 PM	#2
service guy waterheaterzone.com Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: The Universe Posts: 2,043 My Photos	Caller:"How much do you charge for a water heater." WIWICS: "I am like a high-end call-girl, if you have to ask how much I charge, then you obviously can't afford me." WIRS: "It depends on the specific water heater and the specific installation job. I can come out to your home, assess the job and give you an exact price, a house call is only $xx, when would you like to set up and appointment?" Caller: "I don't want to pay for an estimate, can you give me a ballpark? I was at Lowe's and the water heaters were only $xx." WIWICS: "Go ahead, hire BLowe's and have some unlicensed crack-head install your water-heater all screwed up and don't cry to me when it leaks carbon monoxide and kills your whole family. I don't give a damn." WIRS: "I'm sorry, but we have a small service fee for an in-house estimate and there is no other way for us to accurately price the job." __________________ Water Heater Reviews and Water Heater Information

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11-25-2008, 08:21 PM	#3
Wethead Registered Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Rochester NY Posts: 1,644 My Photos	Its true though some of these contractors are going to kill someone someday

11-25-2008, 08:39 PM	#5
Killertoiletspider Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 2,411 My Photos	Caller: "I don't want to pay for an estimate, can you give me a ballpark? I was at Lowe's and the water heaters were only $xx." WIWICS New Comiskey Park was 72 million so far, it should be less than that. WIRS New Comiskey Park was 72 million so far, it should be less than that.